What to do when baby won't sleep

We share our top tips for helping baby fall asleep without any hassle

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Sleep problems and concerns > What to do when baby won't sleep

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It's some ungodly hour in the morning, your little darling isn't hungry, they're not wet, they're not ill and they're perfectly warm, but still they're wailing like a banshee - sound familiar? There's nothing more frustrating, not to mention tiring, than when your baby won't sleep - particularly if they were already starting to settle into a routine.

While babies sometimes wake 'just because', if it happens night after night it can be because it's something that they've learned to do. Like all habits, changing your baby's sleep patterns is something that will take a little perseverance to begin with. However, once he or she has mastered the new 'going to sleep routine' it will quickly become something you both settle into.

Things to remember:

It's important to remember that newborns will naturally wake, and need feeding, around the clock as they haven't yet learned the difference between day and night. However, by the time your baby is around 4 months old, and providing they're feeding well, you can begin to try and establish a sleep routine with them.

Before you decide to embark on a 'getting to sleep' mission there are two very important points that you need to consider:

1. Which 'method' is right for you? - There are so many different schools of thought on the best way of getting baby to sleep that it can be confusing. However, it's vitally important that you choose an approach that you feel happy with. Ultimately, this will be best for you and baby and give you the best chance of success.
   
   
2. Whether you'll be able to stick to it - Once you introduce your baby into a sleep routine it's really important that you persevere. Teaching your baby new sleep habits can take anything from a few days to a couple of weeks but you will get there. Stopping the routine mid-way will only confuse baby and teach them that waking and crying is the best way to get your attention.

To help you help your baby into the land of slumber, we share some of the most common reasons why baby won't sleep and what you can to about it:

Baby is too excited to sleep:

Why? -
Infants need some time to wind down before bed or getting to sleep can prove incredibly difficult. If your baby is finding it difficult to settle then playing, watching TV or doing anything too stimulating in the hours before bedtime is generally a bad idea as they simply won't want to miss out on all the fun.

The same can apply in the day - if you put baby down for a nap but they can hear lots of 'exciting' noise, they are not going to want to dose off.

What can you try? -
Try to establish a bedtime routine that you stick to each night. This can involve some quiet time, a bath (although bear in mind that some babies find bath time very exciting and so just before bed isn't always the best time), a story and a cuddle before you put them down to sleep. This will help your baby to relax and to learn that this 'wind down' routine means it's time to get ready for sleep.

Baby is overtired:

Why? -
Strange as it sounds babies can sometimes become too tired to sleep. They become so fatigued that they appear to be full of energy but soon become irritated and unable to settle when you try to put them to bed.

What can you try? -
Try to establish a specific bedtime that you stick to every evening no matter how awake baby appears. Somewhere between 7pm and 8.30pm is usually best - try watching for 'sleep' signs such as fussing, eye rubbing and ear tugging when you're deciding on the best time for your baby.

As much as is reasonably possible try to stick to a daytime nap routine too as this will ensure that your baby is ready for bed when the time comes. Leaving an afternoon nap too late will simply make baby unable to settle in the evening.

Baby is waking for a feed:

Why? -
Babies, just like adults, will naturally wake every couple of hours throughout the night. However, if you've always fed your baby to sleep (particularly in the evening) they will have learned to associate this action with dropping off and will find it very hard to fall asleep without it.

What can you try? -
You'll need to teach your baby that they can fall asleep without being fed but if you're not a fan of 'immediate action' methods such as controlled crying you could try this gentler approach.

To start with you should continue to feed your baby when they wake in the night but rather than feeding them back to sleep, take away the breast or bottle after a few minutes. Look for ' getting full' signs such as your baby slowing their sucking rate to figure out the best time to do this.

If baby start to fuss then offer the feed again but repeat the process until they fall asleep without sucking. You may find that placing your finger gently on baby's chin when he or she starts to root may make this easier.

After your baby has fallen asleep without the teat or nipple in their mouth a couple of times over a number of days it will start to become easier. Once you have this mastered you'll notice that baby gradually begins to wake less in the night and are able to settle themselves to sleep without feeding.

Baby can't fall asleep on their own:

Why? -
If you've rocked or cuddled your baby to sleep since they were born, they will have learnt to associate your presence with falling asleep. Because of this they will need to have you near both when they settle for the evening and when they wake in the night.

What can you try? -
The 'elastic band' approach is worth a try in this instance as it will teach your baby that you are still there if they need you, but also that they're able to fall asleep on their own too.

Start by placing your baby in their cot, then reassure him or her without making eye contact. Once they start to become drowsy step away from the cot towards the door. If they start to fuss, go back to them right away and reassure them again.

As you continue to repeat this process you'll be able to move further away each time before they start to fuss. Eventually you'll be able to leave the room and baby will be able to settle him or herself.

You can apply this principle to night time waking too - simply reassure baby in their cot before you start to retreat towards the door.

Baby wakes out of habit:

Why? -
Babies are very much creatures of habit and sometimes they can get into a routine of waking themselves (and you!) fully in the night even when they don't need to.

What can you try? -
If your baby is waking out of habit then you will need to teach them to settle themselves so that can drift back into the land of nod without your help when they wake in the night.

Many parents find that controlled crying is a 'quick fix' solution here - although not necessarily a particularly easy one.

To begin with, don't respond immediately if your baby wakes in the night. If they are making cooing or playing noises and don't sound distressed then leave them to see if they'll settle themselves.

If they do become distressed you should go to them, reassure them and then leave the room. Wait for a minute or so and then return to them, reassure them once more and then leave the room again but this time for a couple of minutes. Continue to repeat this, lengthening the gaps between visits until your baby settles to sleep on their own.

Persistence is the key with this one and while the first few nights may be difficult, within a week or so, baby should have falling asleep by themselves mastered.

Do you have any tried and tested sleep solutions that you can share with other members? Why not visit the AskBaby forums for a chat?