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Baby sleep training methods

Advice on baby sleep training techniques including controlled crying, crying down and the core night method.


Discuss baby sleep training methods on our forums, right now! Or, post a comment below.

Crying down

This method can be particularly helpful when initial feeding problems have been resolved and a baby only has mild sleep association problems or has difficulty falling asleep because he is overtired or over-stimulated.The technique involves leaving your baby to cry, and although it's very difficult to listen to a young baby cry himself to sleep, it will prevent serious sleep problems in the future.

Crying down with a baby under six weeks usually lasts between five and 10 minutes, although with some babies who have become over-tired and fight sleep, it can last up to 20 minutes. If you find the crying hard to ignore try and wait for five to 10 minutes before going in to your baby.

You can then enter your baby's room and reassure him with a soothing touch or quiet voice. This should be kept to between one to two minutes before leaving him. You should then wait about 5-10 minutes before returning. Try to repeat this procedure until the baby learns to sleep by himself.

The core night

The core night method can be used for a baby over six weeks, who weighs more than 4.6kg (l0lb), has fallen into a good daytime routine and is settling well in the evening, and provided he's putting on enough weight each week. You'll know it's the right time to start thinking about this method when your baby's still waking in the night looking for a feed but not feeding well at 7am.

The core night works on the principle that once a baby sleeps for one longer spell in the night over several nights, he shouldn't be fed again during the hours slept in the course of the core night. Once you've seen that your baby can last a certain length of time without a feed, you can use this opportunity to help him to sleep longer. If he wakes during these hours, he should be left for a few minutes to settle himself back to sleep.

If he doesn't settle, try patting him, offering him a dummy or a sip of water, giving him the minimum of attention. Babies over six weeks who are putting on a good amount of weight each week but who are still waking at 3am should be offered a dummy or a bottle of cool, boiled water. If your baby still won't settle, give him the smallest feed that gets him through until 7am.

Controlled crying

If all other methods have failed, controlled crying is the most effective way to sleep-train babies over 6 months.

It is an intense technique and takes a lot of commitment and perseverance but can be very successful in getting your baby to sleep through. If your baby is still feeding in the night, however, it's a good idea to try the core night method to ensure he isn't crying from genuine hunger.

Start controlled crying in the evening on the first day. The same procedure should be carried out no matter how many times your baby or toddler wakes up in the night.

Day 1
  • Step 1 Decide on a regular time to start the bedtime routine and stick to it. Allow at least one hour for the bath, milk feed and settling.


  • Step2 Settle your child in his bed before he gets too sleepy. Kiss him goodnight and leave the room.


  • Step 3 Allow a minimum of five to 10 minutes of crying before returning to reassure him. Reassurance should be kept to the minimum. You can stroke him or say 'ssh-ssh' softly, but resist the urge to pick him up. Leave the room after two minutes even if he continues to cry.


  • Step 4 After the first half hour of crying, the times between visits should be increased by five to 10 minutes each time, to 15-20 minutes between visits.


  • Step 5 Continue with the checking plan every 15-20 mins until your baby or toddler falls asleep. Reassurance should still be kept to a minimum of no more than two minutes and he shouldn't be lifted out of the cot.


  • Step 6 If your baby wakes in the night, continue to follow the same plan for the evening, gradually increasing the time between visits, until you are going in every 15-20 minutes.
Day 2

For daytime naps, it is important you start where you left off in the night.
  • Step 1 Wait at least 20 minutes before checking your baby and continue to keep visits to him to a maximum of two minutes, with the minimum of reassurance.


  • Step 2 If your baby or toddler falls asleep closer to the time he's meant to be getting up, allow 15 minutes in the morning nap and 45 minutes at the lunchtime nap so he won't end up sleeping after 3pm in the afternoon. If your baby's very tired he may need a short nap of 15-20 minutes late afternoon, so he doesn't become over-tired.


  • Step 3 Follow the same settling procedure as the first night in the evening, this time waiting 20-25 minutes before returning. During visits on the second night, reassure your baby by saying "ssh-ssh", but don't stroke or touch him.


  • Step 4 If your baby is still crying after the first hour, the time between visits should be increased to 35-40 minutes.


  • Step 5 If he wakes in the night, you should wait 45 minutes before checking him, and you shouldn't speak to him or stroke him. Reduce visits to one minute.
Day 3

By the third day, the majority of babies and toddlers will be settling themselves at all sleep-times within 20 minutes and there's no need to check on them.
  • Step 1 If your baby backtracks at one of the steep-times and you have to go back to checking him, start off with looking in on him every 15-20 minutes and increase the interval until you are back to 4-5-50 minutes.


  • Step 2 Once your child has done a few days of settling within 20 minutes, you should be able to use the crying-down method for getting him off to sleep. Within a couple of weeks, the majority of babies and toddlers will be going to sleep without any fuss at all.

Your Comments

We would love to hear your comments or views on this subject. If you would like to ask a question or start a discussion, please post a topic in our Getting Baby To Sleep forum.
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I want to encourage anyone thinking of trying controlled crying to go for it! Until last week my 10 month old (healthy and developing normally) needed rocking or cuddling to sleep and was unable to settle himself. He would wake several times each night and end up in our bed or with either my husband or I cuddling him on the sofa. Each time he went into a light sleep he would wake up screaming. During the day he would only nap for a max of 40 mins in the pushchair or car. The whole family had reached the point where we were permanently exhausted and short tempered. My 3 year old was suffering because I spent so much of the day trying to get her brother off to sleep. We live in a small semi so as soon as he cried we would pick him up for fear of waking the rest of the family/neighbours!! Having read this website among others and considered the pros and cons of CC we went for it on Friday 19th Dec. Night one he cried for an hour at bedtime and finally settled himself. Then slept til 4am, woke up and cried for 5 mins before settling himself again! Progress already! Night 2 he went down in his cot without a peep and got himself to sleep straight away. Slept til 5am, then settled himself after a momentary screaming episode. Night 3 slept 730pm til 6am (JOY! Our first full nights sleep since January!!). He had a bit of a relapse last night, but tonight has gone down fine again. During the day he has a 45min morning nap now in his cot and about 2 hours in the afternoon! He is so much happier and is eating better. This has made such an amazing difference to our lives. I am feeling so much better and having time during the day to do things with my 3 year old is great! Why did i leave it so long?!
added by OrangeVikki [Mon 5th Jan 2009 @ 09:21:14]
To whom it may concern, This website has been awesome in our journey as new parents. My baby is great but I couldn't really get him to just go to sleep on his own. We tried this method this week along with the daily routine suggested on here and it's worked wonders. I'm happy now that my baby seems to be getting all the sleep and food he needs.
I think this is important to whoever is going to try the controlled crying method. Make sure you have the daily routine sussed so your baby is well-fed and has no need to cry other than not wanting to go to sleep on his own.
Thank you again and keep the great advice coming. Cheers.
added by Maliena [Fri 5th Dec 2008 @ 09:31:47]
Controlled crying- have to be depserate to try it. I recognise our experiences in many of the comments here. Desperate in our house was being awake 12 midnight to 4 am with our 21mth old son wanting to play. Being wakeful, wanting his dummy throughout the night was usual, starting to rely on more milk to get him back to sleep was a bad move but waking for an hour or two from midnight onwards becoming a weekly thing was the final straw. Already lying on a mattress next to his cot to comfort him. He has honestly only "slept through" less than 10 times in his life and this means going through to 6am- his habitual wake up time. If you are reading this you know that sleep deprivation is no joke and I am ever conscious that this is even with two of us to share the load.

Last resort- started controlled crying last night. Shocked at how hard it was to listen to him cry for even one minute. The usual sprint to give him back his dummy has become second nature and I had to be held back from going to comfort him. Usual unsettled period from 10-12pm- he settled within a minute or two with no help. Worst period 3.45 til just after 5am as he screamed intermittently for everyone in our house, Mummy, Daddy and even his brother. It was heartbreaking and I was a sobbing wreck BUT he started to settle himself quicker as the time was extended from 5-10-20mins AND we lived to tell the tale. More worthy of note- he slept in until 7.30am!! which is unheard of even with our usual tiring bedtime antics. I know it is the right thing to do and should have done it before he could climb out of the cot (we have removed the side) and I confess that I had to leave my husband in charge of the timings as I was such a mess I could have given in at any time. The thought of doing it again makes me wince but I know we could not carry on as it was. Feeling really upbeat- GOOD LUCK to anyone else thinking of a way out of the vicious circle of poor sleep.
added by Redeye [Wed 19th Nov 2008 @ 09:09:28]
my baby is 8 months old ans still dont sleep through he gos to bed at 8pm has a bottle at 10:30pm and is awake at 3:00am till 11 next day can any body give me any tips ,PLEASE
added by baileysmum [Tue 18th Nov 2008 @ 08:39:23]
Hi ampen
Ive just lost my comments abt controlled crying - I was doing it & it worked REALLY well until my son started teething, then got a cold which he got rid of & then got it back again & now hes teething again so I havent enforced the controlled crying again but as soon as hos top 2 teeth come through I will be doing it again. It was/is the only thing that has worked so far!! keep u posted
added by yvonne31 [Tue 28th Oct 2008 @ 09:22:02]
i tried the controlled crying method with my first baby when he was about 10 months. i was lucky as he only cried in total of half an hour (with 3-4 checks) the first night and the second night it was 15 mins and the third night he went to sleep after 2 mins! it greatly improved his temprament during the day. with my second baby(now 6 months) i made an effort to establish a good night time routine from about 3 months and havent needed to resort to any of the above methods as she settles herself and sleeps for 12 hours at a stretch most nights. i know alot of people dont agree with the controlled crying but in my experience its worth the effort in the end. i was crying myself the first night as was dying to comfort him but only 2 nights later i was so thankful i'd given it a go as the whole family were getting full sleep and waking up fresh and ready for the day ahead!
added by usb [Mon 20th Oct 2008 @ 10:56:28]
I'm sure there are methods that work well for certain children but I find that it takes a combination of suggestions to help my child sleep more completely through the night. The tips here are great, and so are the tips I got from another online resource called almost as good as mum. Ultimately, it came down to testing of every and all of the techniques I read about to see what proved best, and as I mentioned, what worked best was a combination of everything.
added by webmom [Fri 10th Oct 2008 @ 09:09:36]
I have used controlled crying with my little girl when she was 9 or 10 months old. She was refusing to go to sleep in her cot, I would pick her up and rock her and she would fall asleep, but as soon as I lay her down she would wake up and start crying again. I used the controlled crying method for about 5 days (the first night was the worst, she cried for 45mins with me checking on her every 10 minutes), but after those 5 nights she understood that it was ok to go to sleep by herself and all I needed to do was kiss her goodnight, lay her in her cot and she would happily roll over and go to sleep. Now instead of being grumpy and tearful in the morning due to a disturbed night, she is bouncy and full of smiles when she wakes at 8am, which is an absolute joy for me as well.
I do not agree at all with those who criticize the controlled crying method. I do not believe for a second that allowing my baby to cry for a relatively short time in order to establish a healthier sleeping pattern will in any way negatively effect her in the future. If anything, getting her into a better sleeping pattern can only do her good. I think over-coddling a baby is more harmful. One of my friends also has a little girl with sleep issues, but instead of nipping it in the bud early, their baby who is now almost 2 has slept in the mothers bed almost since birth and the father is sleeping on the sofa. How is that psychologically healthy? My point is that unless your baby has a genuine reason for not going to sleep, like hunger, illness etc...then it is not cruel to employ the controlled crying system you are actually helping your baby by letting them be more in control of themselves. I do not think it is emotionally healthy for my baby to think that she can only go to sleep if I am holding her and no I am not worried that me using the controlled crying method will turn her into a stroppy teenager. She is going to be a stroppy teenager whether I let her cry now or not, it's the whole point of being a teenager all those hormones rushing around. It's like having permanent PMT until they calm down ( I know, I was one not that long ago). Anyway, I digress, The more important thing is how you interact with your child during the day and I think most of us find it hard to properly enjoy being parents if we are completely sleep deprived. Controlled crying not only helped my little girl get a better sleep pattern, which made her happier is also let me get more sleep, which I believe made me a better mum.
I do think those who disparage the controlled crying method either enjoy having their child completely emotionally dependant on them or they haven't actually experienced a child with sleeping difficulties. I have noticed that although they seem very quick to put the method down, non of them have offered what they think is a viable alternative to helping babies get to sleep. If you think controlled crying is cruel, what do you suggest? Bearing in mind that most parents who are doing controlled crying will probably have exhausted (pun intended) all other avenues that the 'experts' recommend.
To all those parents trying controlled crying, I know it's not fun listening to your little one cry, but it's only for a few nights and the benifits to both you and your child will be worth it in the end.
added by rwhmum [Tue 7th Oct 2008 @ 09:33:14]
Hello, my baby is nearly 5 months old. He is really happy during the day and settles really well for naps. He usually wakes up in the morning at about 7 and then happily plays in his cot until 8. I usually feed him at about 8.15 and then wash, dress and play with him. He then has a nap at about 9.30 and sleeps until 11.30. All I do is place him in his cot and he goes straight to sleep. He then has his feed at about 11.30/12.00. He stays awake 2 hours and then has another nap. Again, he is great a falling asleep by himself (he sucks his thumb). He sleeps for about 2 hours. He has his next feed at about 3/3.30 and then again plays. When he starts getting grumpy I put him in his cot but he doesn't want to go to sleep. He does cry sometimes and sometimes he talks for a while. Sometimes he does sleep and other times he can't. However, the evenings are a different story. We try to put him to bed at about 7/7.30. He crys and crys and crys. We keep going in and picking him up but really try not to bring him downstairs as I think he must learn that it is bedtime. Sometimes we do end up bringing him downstairs... however then he just even more tired. He usually has his last feed at about 10/10.30 and then he sleeps really well until the morning. It's just the evening really that we have a problem where he crys continuously. I know he is tired because he rubs his eyes and has his thumb in his mouth. We end up just "coping" until his last feed and then he goes to sleep okay. Do you think it is because we don't get him to bed early enough on that feed where he struggles to sleep? Anyone else had these problems? Many thanks
added by RockyBouton [Wed 1st Oct 2008 @ 09:13:44]
My son is 6 months old. He is breastfed but now also on 3 solid meals a day. We first considered trying the controlled crying method 3 months ago however, as he was still feeding during the night we decided to wait. With him being breastfed he has always been used to falling asleep whilst nursing therefore, he would never fall asleep on his own and always had to be cuddled back to sleep. This resulted in him waking every 1 - 2 hours during the night and after getting up several times he would then only fall back to sleep once in bed with us (and this was the only way any of us could get any sleep!). We finally decided to bite the bullet and set a date to start the controlled crying and we were apprehensive at best as to how successful this would be. We set ourselves up for endless hours of non-stop crying, on our first night we put our little man down in his cot half awake at 7pm and sure enough the crying started. We checked on him after 5 mins then again after 7 mins and 10 minutes later he had settled himself off to sleep. He slept peacefully up until 4 am when he cried continously for 1 hour, as hard as this was for us not to pick him up we followed the routine and he settled himself off until 7.30am. We are now 3 days in and he settles himself at all sleep times within 10 minutes and sleeps soundly each time - we even had to wake him from his morning nap today! Everybody knows their baby best but I would definitely recommend teaching your baby how to sleep by themselves, just by having a good nights sleep makes a very happy mummmy, daddy and most importanly baby!
added by LukesMum [Mon 29th Sep 2008 @ 09:14:02]
I've used the crying down technique with my son (didn't know that's what is was called till I read the above, my friend just told me to do it that way) and it has worked a treat. My son has slept really well from 8 weeks old after using this method and I would thoroughly recommend it - it took a few weeks of persistence and you need to stick with it but it does work. Teaching your child how to sleep independently is not a horrible thing to do, its one of the best things you can do for them. Everyone comments on how contented my little boy is, he has absolutely no 'attachment' issues whatsoever and knows that we absolutely adore him. My brother in law and wife never did this sort of thing, let their baby come into their bed, wouldn't let him go to sleep without them being there and they now have a 9 year old son, who still comes into their bed everynight with out fails, has hysterics if they try to go for a night out because they won't be there at his bed time, and is completely and utterly overly attached to them - hence the huge importance of making sure they can sleep on their own.
added by kaybe1 [Wed 24th Sep 2008 @ 09:42:09]
My daughter is 5.5 months. We are working on sleep training her. She's fed mostly by nursing, though she does get Barley Cereal before bed. I have been feeding her though the night. How do i know if she's hungry or just used to waking up? I would hate to leave her there crying when she's really just hungry. I want to do what's right, but i'm not sure how long a baby can go without eating who's nursing. She does down around 6pm. Also when she wakes up during the night, if i don't feed her, she can and has cried for 3 hours. How long is too long?
added by rylydi [Tue 23rd Sep 2008 @ 16:59:41]
hi yvonne21 - please let me know how your training goes. i am in exactly the same predicament as you. thanks. ampen
added by ampen [Tue 16th Sep 2008 @ 09:02:31]
Ive just read all these comments on controlled cyring...as a mother of four children ages ranging from 21 years to 11 months, I thought hat I had all the answers, not so with little 11 month old who has been a complete nightmare to get off to sleep and keep asleep. My husband and I were at our wits end with 11 months of lack of sleep - he was awake one week each night from 1am to 4pm...so in desperation we tried this method two weeks ago, we had nothing to lose as we were awake all night anyway....I can honestly say that the first night was hell and it is hard to listen to your baby crying, but the second night was better and two weeks later (fingers crossed) he is going off to sleep each night happily and sleeping from 8.30pm to 7am -its didnt take two weeks, it took five nights in all, I too thought he would hate me for it but the reverse is true, he is happier in the day, is taking a longer nap at lunchtime, he is more active, less grizzly, eating more and LESS CLINGY and finally I can cuddle him and enjoy being with him instead of a sleep deprived zombie that I was turning in to...so hope that this post helps all those in doubt, IT WORKS !
added by Faroukihorse [Fri 29th Aug 2008 @ 09:17:06]
Hello, I have a 4 months old boy, and I started the Ferber method last night. He eats at 7:30 pm and then at 7:00 am. The problem is about the pacifier. He wakes once or twice in the middle of the night because of the pacifier, and since he doesnt know how to find it by himself.. he cries. Last night he cried for 1 hour and 50 minutes, I was devastated. I went every five minutes (because it was the first night of the method) to calm him (talking and patting, not lifting him). My question is: should I quit the pacifier use when he goes to bed? Because he goes to bed and sleeps by himself easily, but with the pacifier.... I didnt give him the pacifier when he woke up last... What do you recomend? Put him to sleep with or without the pacifier?
added by laurapgarcia [Tue 19th Aug 2008 @ 08:39:48]
Cleary the people leaving neg comments on controlled crying have abandonment issues themseves. Children who end up troubesome or messed up is not because of thier parents using controlled crying. And cleary they get off on thier children needing them and being clingy and moany and having no indeendence later in life- far worse then a bid of controlled crying. True abandonemtn are the sick people who leave thier children crying even if they hunmgry, cold, ill- and for selfish reasons. Controlled crying is helping a child yet being intuitiative. The people with abandonment issues are due to incorrect 'controlled crying'. Its unfair to say people who use this method abandon thier children. I have never tried it myslef however and i dont have any issues with it.
added by evie83 [Fri 15th Aug 2008 @ 14:51:56]
Here, here jg1977! Both crying down and controlled crying are positively horrible things to do to a child and have long lasting psychological effects.If you are in any doubt read Why love matters: How affection shapes a child's brain by Sue Gerhart. If you want caring kind adults, you need to show care and kindness to babies from an early age and not abandon them. In India and Africa children are not allowed to cry - EVER. Their parents comfort them not matter what 'type of' cry' they are giving. It is only the UK and parts of America that this fashion for so called sleep training exists. Sleep trainers are a draconian bunch out with outdated 1950s ideas. If you subject your child to emotional abandonment of this kind there will be future consequences which will make interrupted sleep the least of your worries
added by Ann2 [Thu 24th Jul 2008 @ 09:28:28]
I have a 2 year old daughter who up until 2 nights agao was sleeping in bed with me and my husband. we had tried the controlled crying technique before when she was 8 months old but we gave up because she would make herself sick and scream for hours on end, we tried again the other night and put her to bed at 7pm and read a story etc the said goodnight and closed the bedroom door, she cried and got out of bed but i went in and checked her every 5 mins and put her back in bed without talking to her or making eye contact then left the room, after doing this a few times she finally gave up and fell asleep half an hour later, in the night she cried twice but i left her and she settled herself and slept til 7am, last night she only took 15 mins to fall asleep and i got up once in the night to put her dummy back in and she went straight back to sleep until the morning. I'm really pleased with this progress so far, obviously we've got to do this for a few more nights yet but hopefully in a couple of weeks she will be able to settle herself to sleep at night in her own bed..
hope this gives others the willpower , because controlled crying can work!!!
added by jennie83 [Mon 23rd Jun 2008 @ 08:29:00]
i have 11 month old baby who cannot get to sleep by himself, i amstill nursing him so he just falls asleep while feeding. I put him into his cot once he has nodded off, but he wakes shortly after and the whole process starts again, this may happen 4-5 times a night. how can i break this habbit and yet continue to nurse him?
added by fid [Wed 11th Jun 2008 @ 08:43:34]
My baby is 6 months old. He is now in mobile. And i start to introduce him solid food. I am not sure whether that are the factosr that cause his sleeping problems recently. Normally he fall to sleep around 9pm, but waked after 30 - 45 min and cry. I wish the controlled crying method will work for me. Is difficult to hear your baby crying. And now he is not just crying, he crawl to the door and knock on it. I feel guilty but I really want him to learn how to sleep on his own.
added by lotuslee [Tue 27th May 2008 @ 08:38:15]
I've just done the first night of trying to get my 4 month old baby to fall asleep on her own. She goes off for her morning nap by herself absolutely fine....but in the evenings, I've been nursing her to sleep, which I know I need to stop! She cried for a total of 26 minutes, of which I went in twice to settle her....the first time, mistakenly picking her up out of her cot. Not responding whilst listening to your baby crying for you is like glass going through your heart! But I know that she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own at some point soon and the later I leave it to teach her to drift off to sleep independently, the harder it will be for the both of us. I want to raise my child to be confident and I honestly believe that I'm teaching her to feel safe in the house for years to come. It's very VERY hard to hear your baby crying for you....but if you go back in and settle them.....then come away again it will work....eventually! Even though it felt like an age - I don't think 26 minutes on the first night was that bad. I've probably spoken to soon, haven't I?!

2nd Night:
Tonight was 1 hr 20 mins. Feel like she's going to hate me tomorrow. I feel terrible and want to cry my eyes out too!
added by Issy [Mon 19th May 2008 @ 08:50:49]
OK People wish me luck. Im going to try the controlled crying method with my daughter for the next three nights and see what happens. Shes almost 6months old now and im returning back to work soon and i really REALLY need her to start to sleep right through. Im prepared not to sleep much over the next few nights untill we get this sorted!! I'll keep you posted!!
added by gemma5633 [Thu 1st May 2008 @ 08:49:43]
I trained my daughter to sleep at 6 mths. I could not take the sleepless nights anymore and she was just waking to hang out. I gave her all the attention she needs during the day but she wanted more at night. Since I have used the controlled crying method she has never been happier. She wakes well rested and so happy. It was a tough couple nights but I kept asking myself these questions. Do I want a older child that can't sleep with out my help (I would personally love to have my child need me forever but I think that that would be selfish of me)? Will I be a better mother to my child if I am well rested? Is it still cute and acceptable to have my 6 yr old waking at night and needing me?
My daughter knows how to sleep on her own now. I have given her such a gift teaching her to sleep.
JJ07 I think your little one will be just fine. You need to set a time to do it and get your husband on board. Your in for a tough couple of nights but the rewards are so worth it. Good luck and stay strong!
To all the people thinking that it will lead to attachment disorders, I disagree. I would argue that a child that still can't sleep through the night or needs a parent to fall asleep has an attachment disorder. There is nothing wrong with being able to sleep independently. I think the earlier it is addressed is easier on a child.
added by Happybabyhappymommy [Wed 23rd Apr 2008 @ 08:30:06]
Hi I was wondering if anyone has tried the controlled crying/sleeping technique with older babies. Jack is now almost 11 months and we stopped his 11pm bottle about a month ago. Since then he is sleeping less and waking up crying and stands up in the cot looking at us (we only have 1 bed flat). Once we pick him up he stops crying immed. and sometimes falls straight back to sleep.
Someone suggested controlled crying method but when we leave him he stands up in the cot and cries. Please could somone confirm this is ok and that we leave him standing whilst trying this method? We try to get him to lie back down but he just stands back up again as soon as we walk away. Jack usually sleeps in a sleeping bag, we have tried without one too but he still stands up. Please help...i go back to work soon and my husband and i are desperate for some sleep.
added by JJ07 [Tue 25th Mar 2008 @ 09:06:29]
It can have a damaging effect actually...something called attachment disorders...your child could grow upto be overly sensative easily affected and upset and not being able to trust easily...my mother has studied it...it's reasons why lots of teenagers are the way teenagers are expected to be...they're acting out to get attention they never had when they were younger...they can't ask for it because (as they know fom their childhood) that doesn't work...maybe leaving them to cry once but not letting them gry again and again for longer and longer!!!
My mum used to leave my sister to cry because she knew she was ok because she'd had 3 children before her and now my sister is exactly what i said at the beginning!
added by Mummy08 [Wed 19th Mar 2008 @ 09:19:02]
I am a sleep trainer and provide help to parents who are at their wits end, I am concerned by the remarks left by jg1977, sleep traing does not have a negative effect on psyche later on in life! In actual fact, by teaching your child how to sleep by themselves is giving them the best gift a parent can. I just wanted to commend askbaby.com on their advice, as it is good, I have used a combination of the methods laid out, with great success for many years. Keep up the good work, and parents - don't be afraid of hearing your baby cry, as long as all their other needs have been attended to then you won't be doing them any harm!
added by happierfamilies [Tue 26th Feb 2008 @ 09:21:27]
actually as i read this i was very reassured. my now 18 month old went through the normal routine of learning when to be asleep and when to be awake, and i didn't have this reference. but using my instincts, and yes, letting him cry sometimes, he has slept through the night pretty consistently, from about 2 months old. the key is, there is a difference between a bored/want to hang out with mom or dad cry, and a true "there is something WRONG" cry. my son is the happiest and sweetest baby i know. i have no qualms whatsoever that he might worry i wouldn't "be there" for him when he needs me. it's just that nighttime is for sleeping, and daytime is for hanging out/cuddling/playing. there are some nights when i know that he has a hard day, and i don't hesitate to comfort him when needed (sick, new routine, whatever it might be). you just have to use guidelines like these with a healthy dose of common sense and intuition. they're not saying to leave your child in his room indefinitely, screaming from neglect. it also depends on their age - i always let my son run the "show" so to speak, until he was a couple months old and i had to go back to work. but babies are smart. unless something is truly wrong with your baby, i don't see a problem with this advice. it's almost exactly what my son and i worked out between us, just by common sense, when we had this issue.
added by ksdiamond [Mon 25th Feb 2008 @ 08:37:19]
I would just like to say that letting your baby cry themselves to sleep is not teaching them how to sleep on their own. It is teaching them that their cries are not responded to by the people he/she is supposed to trust most in the world. They have just been born into the world, coming from the womb where their every need was catered for and then you want to abandon them on their own to cry themselves to sleep? Do you not think this will have very negative effects on the baby's psyche in later years? Believe me it will!They are babies for such a short amount of time, why not try more humane methods, ones that mean you listen to your intuition?
added by jg1977 [Fri 4th Jan 2008 @ 09:03:22]
i tried this core night and controlled crying method with my child and found it a massive help. she took one night of intense crying, then took an hour to go down for the next couple of nights. now she sleeps from 7pm-7am!
added by libbysmom [Mon 22nd Oct 2007 @ 09:38:47]
We are on day 3 of the controlled crying method and we have reached 2.5 hours. Do we win a prize ? Is there a previous record we should be aiming for ?
added by PWM [Thu 26th Apr 2007 @ 10:20:34]





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