Advice on baby sleep training techniques including controlled crying, crying down and the core night method.Discuss baby sleep training methods on our forums, right now! Or, post a comment below.Crying downThis method can be particularly helpful when initial feeding problems have been resolved and a baby only has mild sleep association problems or has difficulty falling asleep because he is overtired or over-stimulated.The technique involves leaving your baby to cry, and although it's very difficult to listen to a young baby cry himself to sleep, it will prevent serious sleep problems in the future.
Crying down with a baby under six weeks usually lasts between five and 10 minutes, although with some babies who have become over-tired and fight sleep, it can last up to 20 minutes. If you find the crying hard to ignore try and wait for five to 10 minutes before going in to your baby.
You can then enter your baby's room and reassure him with a soothing touch or quiet voice. This should be kept to between one to two minutes before leaving him. You should then wait about 5-10 minutes before returning. Try to repeat this procedure until the baby learns to sleep by himself.
The core night The core night method can be used for a baby over six weeks, who weighs more than 4.6kg (l0lb), has fallen into a good daytime routine and is settling well in the evening, and provided he's putting on enough weight each week. You'll know it's the right time to start thinking about this method when your baby's still waking in the night looking for a feed but not feeding well at 7am.
The core night works on the principle that once a baby sleeps for one longer spell in the night over several nights, he shouldn't be fed again during the hours slept in the course of the core night. Once you've seen that your baby can last a certain length of time without a feed, you can use this opportunity to help him to sleep longer. If he wakes during these hours, he should be left for a few minutes to settle himself back to sleep.
If he doesn't settle, try patting him, offering him a dummy or a sip of water, giving him the minimum of attention. Babies over six weeks who are putting on a good amount of weight each week but who are still waking at 3am should be offered a dummy or a bottle of cool, boiled water. If your baby still won't settle, give him the smallest feed that gets him through until 7am.
Controlled cryingIf all other methods have failed, controlled crying is the most effective way to sleep-train babies over 6 months.
It is an intense technique and takes a lot of commitment and perseverance but can be very successful in getting your baby to sleep through. If your baby is still feeding in the night, however, it's a good idea to try the core night method to ensure he isn't crying from genuine hunger.
Start controlled crying in the evening on the first day. The same procedure should be carried out no matter how many times your baby or toddler wakes up in the night.
Day 1- Step 1 Decide on a regular time to start the bedtime routine and stick to it. Allow at least one hour for the bath, milk feed and settling.
- Step2 Settle your child in his bed before he gets too sleepy. Kiss him goodnight and leave the room.
- Step 3 Allow a minimum of five to 10 minutes of crying before returning to reassure him. Reassurance should be kept to the minimum. You can stroke him or say 'ssh-ssh' softly, but resist the urge to pick him up. Leave the room after two minutes even if he continues to cry.
- Step 4 After the first half hour of crying, the times between visits should be increased by five to 10 minutes each time, to 15-20 minutes between visits.
- Step 5 Continue with the checking plan every 15-20 mins until your baby or toddler falls asleep. Reassurance should still be kept to a minimum of no more than two minutes and he shouldn't be lifted out of the cot.
- Step 6 If your baby wakes in the night, continue to follow the same plan for the evening, gradually increasing the time between visits, until you are going in every 15-20 minutes.
Day 2For daytime naps, it is important you start where you left off in the night.
- Step 1 Wait at least 20 minutes before checking your baby and continue to keep visits to him to a maximum of two minutes, with the minimum of reassurance.
- Step 2 If your baby or toddler falls asleep closer to the time he's meant to be getting up, allow 15 minutes in the morning nap and 45 minutes at the lunchtime nap so he won't end up sleeping after 3pm in the afternoon. If your baby's very tired he may need a short nap of 15-20 minutes late afternoon, so he doesn't become over-tired.
- Step 3 Follow the same settling procedure as the first night in the evening, this time waiting 20-25 minutes before returning. During visits on the second night, reassure your baby by saying "ssh-ssh", but don't stroke or touch him.
- Step 4 If your baby is still crying after the first hour, the time between visits should be increased to 35-40 minutes.
- Step 5 If he wakes in the night, you should wait 45 minutes before checking him, and you shouldn't speak to him or stroke him. Reduce visits to one minute.
Day 3By the third day, the majority of babies and toddlers will be settling themselves at all sleep-times within 20 minutes and there's no need to check on them.
- Step 1 If your baby backtracks at one of the steep-times and you have to go back to checking him, start off with looking in on him every 15-20 minutes and increase the interval until you are back to 4-5-50 minutes.
- Step 2 Once your child has done a few days of settling within 20 minutes, you should be able to use the crying-down method for getting him off to sleep. Within a couple of weeks, the majority of babies and toddlers will be going to sleep without any fuss at all.
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I think this is important to whoever is going to try the controlled crying method. Make sure you have the daily routine sussed so your baby is well-fed and has no need to cry other than not wanting to go to sleep on his own.
Thank you again and keep the great advice coming. Cheers.
Last resort- started controlled crying last night. Shocked at how hard it was to listen to him cry for even one minute. The usual sprint to give him back his dummy has become second nature and I had to be held back from going to comfort him. Usual unsettled period from 10-12pm- he settled within a minute or two with no help. Worst period 3.45 til just after 5am as he screamed intermittently for everyone in our house, Mummy, Daddy and even his brother. It was heartbreaking and I was a sobbing wreck BUT he started to settle himself quicker as the time was extended from 5-10-20mins AND we lived to tell the tale. More worthy of note- he slept in until 7.30am!! which is unheard of even with our usual tiring bedtime antics. I know it is the right thing to do and should have done it before he could climb out of the cot (we have removed the side) and I confess that I had to leave my husband in charge of the timings as I was such a mess I could have given in at any time. The thought of doing it again makes me wince but I know we could not carry on as it was. Feeling really upbeat- GOOD LUCK to anyone else thinking of a way out of the vicious circle of poor sleep.
Ive just lost my comments abt controlled crying - I was doing it & it worked REALLY well until my son started teething, then got a cold which he got rid of & then got it back again & now hes teething again so I havent enforced the controlled crying again but as soon as hos top 2 teeth come through I will be doing it again. It was/is the only thing that has worked so far!! keep u posted
I do not agree at all with those who criticize the controlled crying method. I do not believe for a second that allowing my baby to cry for a relatively short time in order to establish a healthier sleeping pattern will in any way negatively effect her in the future. If anything, getting her into a better sleeping pattern can only do her good. I think over-coddling a baby is more harmful. One of my friends also has a little girl with sleep issues, but instead of nipping it in the bud early, their baby who is now almost 2 has slept in the mothers bed almost since birth and the father is sleeping on the sofa. How is that psychologically healthy? My point is that unless your baby has a genuine reason for not going to sleep, like hunger, illness etc...then it is not cruel to employ the controlled crying system you are actually helping your baby by letting them be more in control of themselves. I do not think it is emotionally healthy for my baby to think that she can only go to sleep if I am holding her and no I am not worried that me using the controlled crying method will turn her into a stroppy teenager. She is going to be a stroppy teenager whether I let her cry now or not, it's the whole point of being a teenager all those hormones rushing around. It's like having permanent PMT until they calm down ( I know, I was one not that long ago). Anyway, I digress, The more important thing is how you interact with your child during the day and I think most of us find it hard to properly enjoy being parents if we are completely sleep deprived. Controlled crying not only helped my little girl get a better sleep pattern, which made her happier is also let me get more sleep, which I believe made me a better mum.
I do think those who disparage the controlled crying method either enjoy having their child completely emotionally dependant on them or they haven't actually experienced a child with sleeping difficulties. I have noticed that although they seem very quick to put the method down, non of them have offered what they think is a viable alternative to helping babies get to sleep. If you think controlled crying is cruel, what do you suggest? Bearing in mind that most parents who are doing controlled crying will probably have exhausted (pun intended) all other avenues that the 'experts' recommend.
To all those parents trying controlled crying, I know it's not fun listening to your little one cry, but it's only for a few nights and the benifits to both you and your child will be worth it in the end.
hope this gives others the willpower , because controlled crying can work!!!
2nd Night:
Tonight was 1 hr 20 mins. Feel like she's going to hate me tomorrow. I feel terrible and want to cry my eyes out too!
My daughter knows how to sleep on her own now. I have given her such a gift teaching her to sleep.
JJ07 I think your little one will be just fine. You need to set a time to do it and get your husband on board. Your in for a tough couple of nights but the rewards are so worth it. Good luck and stay strong!
To all the people thinking that it will lead to attachment disorders, I disagree. I would argue that a child that still can't sleep through the night or needs a parent to fall asleep has an attachment disorder. There is nothing wrong with being able to sleep independently. I think the earlier it is addressed is easier on a child.
Someone suggested controlled crying method but when we leave him he stands up in the cot and cries. Please could somone confirm this is ok and that we leave him standing whilst trying this method? We try to get him to lie back down but he just stands back up again as soon as we walk away. Jack usually sleeps in a sleeping bag, we have tried without one too but he still stands up. Please help...i go back to work soon and my husband and i are desperate for some sleep.
My mum used to leave my sister to cry because she knew she was ok because she'd had 3 children before her and now my sister is exactly what i said at the beginning!