Pregnancy guide > Your baby in pregnancy > Baby names > What to do when you don't agree

What to do when you don't agree

Advice on what to do when you and your partner can't agree on baby names
Choosing a name for your baby can be a tough especially when you and your partner don't agree on names. Unsurprisingly this is a common problem with many couples having conflicting ideas about what their new son or daughter should be called. However, be reassured that you will come to a decision eventually - even if it means compromising.

Its particularly difficult if you have had your heart set on a baby name forever and your partner just isn't into it, as can it be if you are under pressure to include a traditional family name that you really can't abide. There are ways of getting round this and here are some ideas to help keep you both happy.....
  • If you both have strong ideas about a name you like why not use one as the first name and one as the middle name or alternatively use them as a hyphenated first name together. This way you'll both be happy and your child can decide which he likes best as he grows older.
  • Try to find names that share the same meaning as your preferred name, you may be able to find the same sentiment in a name you both like.
  • Why not look into the different spellings or foreign alternatives available for your name of choice, these could show up some lovely alternatives that you've never even considered.
  • Both make lists detailing your favourite baby names their meanings. By discussing your likes and dislikes of each name and seeing how they fit with your surname you can work out a short list together and decide on the most suitable name when you finally meet your little one.
  • If you really can't decide why not create a completely new name, try merging your preferred names together or making anagrams of the two so that your child can have a really unique name that both his parents love.
If you and your partner are having real difficulty deciding then it can be tempting to ask the advice of others. While its fine to sound names to friends and family it is important to remember that naming your baby is something that you should do together as a couple. Avoid stressing too much as its more than likely that when your baby is born you'll decide on a name that just fits his or her little temperament perfectly.

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We have just had a boy, I want to call him kyler but hubby says no cos its a girls name, but it can be used as both, what do you think?
by mrssimpson 3rd Feb 2012, 11:23am
I wish my partner would compromise with me, i have tried and tried and tried but he is so stubborn. He wants to name our unborn Arran (after himself) even though this is NOT his 1st child he has a 5 year old son already to another woman. I said i would have Arran as a middle name but he just goes in a massive strop and we have nearly split up numerous times over this. I dont know what else i can do. I am totally in-love with a name but he just is not interested.
by JadieMummyLeather 16th Jun 2011, 3:09pm
with my 1st son we put the names we both liked into a hat and chose one each.
We then did it again with the 2 names, the 1st one out was his first name, the 2nd out was his middle name! worked for us
by alady 26th Oct 2009, 2:45pm
i hate my wifes sugestions and she hates mine so we have agreed to let the state pick easy
by joanywony 24th Aug 2009, 9:17am
Me and my partner had a really hard time trying to decide on names, made all the harder because we don't know what sex the baby is!

In the end we decided on a really traditional name for a boy (Henry) and a hyphenated name for a girl (April-Matilda). Deciding on the boys middle name was the hardest, because apart from Henry, we couldn't decide on anything!

My advice would be to decide on a couple of names very early on in the pregnancy, then you have time to get bored of a name, and to get used to it and the way it sounds - remember you're going to be calling your child that name for the rest of your life!

Good luck to everyone and their bumps :) x
by LuckyMummy2 10th Jul 2009, 9:13am
me and my boyfriend couldnt agree on names at all!!
i liked jayden and he truly hated it..
he likes the name warren,, so he came up with warren-jay (jay as i wanted jayden)
i did agree on it at 1st, but im abit weery on it now as to whether or not it sounds silly ?
what do u think?
i will just call him warren, but some people may use the full warren-jay and i just can't decide if it goes now?
help lol..
i need to decide ive only got 8 weeks left which really isnt long!!
:S x
by staceybaby 5th May 2009, 12:20pm
I am at my wits end my partner just seems 2 dissagree with every name i come up with boy or girl. I dont get him cause wen i ask him 2 say names he comes up with his own name and that is it not even the mention of a girl name as we dont know we r having. Wot do i do b4 i go crazy
by sexybump 28th Apr 2009, 10:19am
if its a boy my boyfriend wants to name it after the baby can be a 3rd since my boyfriend is a junior. But im not thrilled about that. I dont like his middle name at all. and i want something different and unique. And i dont want two people with the same name in one house. What should i do?
by Bailey720 27th Feb 2009, 9:39am
We have already decided on a girl's name and that was easy because we combined the names of our Grandmothers. However, the boy's name thing is proving a headache - neither of us are very keen on male family names, so that solves nothing! My solution is for both of us to write lists of names we like, then we'll talk through them, eliminate any that either of us really hate, and so end up with a list of names we both think are ok. When the baby is born, if it's a boy, we will have a ready list of names and we can just pick one that suits.
by Pigkate 17th Feb 2009, 9:47am
We just cant agree. My partner likes Megan Jayne Carr and I like Emily Jayne Carr. I just feel like she doesnt suit it and that its sort of a manly feminine name.We reg her 2mrw and cant decide lol
by sc1988 7th Jan 2009, 8:52am
The easiest thing to do when you dont agree is to let the woman chose, it saves a lot of grief and hassle
by Clucy 23rd Dec 2008, 9:18am
why oh why cant we agree on boys beginning to wonder whether or not its a sign and we must be having a girl. There are plenty of names that we would love our bundle of joy to have if it turns out to be a girl !! Has anyone else had the sameproblem?
All we want is a strong boys name which isnt too popular,old fashioned or hippy that too much to ask?
by buba123 23rd Dec 2008, 9:17am
are there any boys names in his family you like, maybe a grandfathers or fathers middle name. tough to turn down a name you like that comes from his family???
by stephanielynae 12th Dec 2008, 9:45am
aw ethans a lovely name!! my bf has decided if its a boy he wants 2 name it liam peter noel!!!! its awful lol!!! hes an avid oasis fan!!! i like alfie 4 a boy n niamh 4 a girl!!! the disputes we're havin over names n we've still 4 n half months 2 go lol!!!
by gemgem1010 25th Nov 2008, 8:52am
hi my boyfriend like carly but his second name is day and i cant find anything to go so can any one help me please thanks xx
by charlie11 12th Sep 2007, 8:49am